Practicing Hospitality: Reflecting God’s Welcoming Heart

“Entertaining is showing off who you are and what you can do. Hospitality is asking the question, ‘Lord, how can I serve this guest?’ Because I don't know their real need. Only God knows.”

Apr 02, 2025

What comes to mind when you think of hospitality? Maybe you think you don’t have time, your house is too much of a mess, or you just don’t have that gift. But, what if hospitality is more than just entertaining? What if practicing hospitality is an opportunity to reflect God’s heart?

Below is a snippet of a conversation with Sue Donaldson, a 72-year-old woman of God who is a speaker, author, and podcast host known for her passion for hospitality. During our conversation, Sue explains the difference between hospitality and entertainment, offers practical tips for embracing hospitality, and explains how you don’t need to be an extrovert to practice it. She also offers words of wisdom on the advantages of failing, overcoming rejection, and resting in your true identity. If you prefer listening, you can listen to or watch the full conversation on Apple, Spotify or YouTube.

What is hospitality, how did it become your passion, and how do you practice it?

I always love this question and I'm always a little surprised by people asking me that because I'm no longer surprised. But when I was first asked it because I thought, why isn't it just an automatic approach to life? But that's because I was raised with a hospitable mother. And when you're raised in it, it becomes second nature. And so I'm grateful my kids have a hospitable heart. They do it differently than I do it. I do it differently than my mother, because I'm married to an extreme introvert and I want to honor him. But for the most part, we do it very differently than my folks.

But I was raised that way and how I got started in it, I think it got to me when I was single. I was single until I was 35. And I got lonely. And so I had to go out and make friends. And a good way to do it when you're not, I was a school teacher, so I didn't make a lot of money is to host or to do potlucks or to do brunches because eggs at that time were cheap.

So I started hosting all sorts of things when I was single because I was lonely. So, I bring that up and I tell you how I do it when I teach on it. But the whole idea is, I call it self-serving sanctification because hospitality is not a suggestion. It's a command. And people don’t like hearing that. They go, ‘Sue, it's because you just like doing that kind of thing. Or it's because you have the spiritual gift of hospitality.’ Well, maybe I do, maybe I don't. But whether or not you have the spiritual gift, you're still commanded to do it. And guess what? It's the best thing for your heart, for your own heart.

But the main reason I do it is because…the underlying motivation is that whenever I open my home and my heart, I have the opportunity to reflect God's welcoming heart. You see how that has raised it up to much higher than Martha Stewart, who is really good at what she does. And other people who do it more perfectionist, like I'm not a perfectionist, so that part's easier. People said something about dusting baseboards. I didn't even know I had baseboards. And now that I have bifocals, I can’t see them anyway. I realize I'm a slob and that I don't care about that kind of thing. And I realize I'm a simple cook. So I have that going for me.

But it's no excuse for someone who is a perfectionist. They need to get rid of it because that's all about themselves. It's no excuse that they don't like to cook. Trader Joe's is literally across the street or Aldi's. I can give simple recipes if someone is stymied by their lack of expertise in an area.

And then I've also talked to women who say, I love to decorate my home. I don't mind inviting people over, but I don't know what to talk about once they come in the door. And I go, really? So I wrote a called Say Something Special: 252 Conversation Starters. And the point is to facilitate, enable, empower the everyday Christian woman to invite the world into their home for the sake of the gospel.

What are some practical tips on how to practice hospitality?

Tip #1: Start small

I always say start small. So if you’re a mother of young children, we would always invite my girls’ teachers over for tea after school. And my daughter would be so excited to have her teacher there. You didn't have to do any talking. One of the teachers, now that we did this, cause she was their fifth grade teacher, all three girls, she comes every Christmas Eve still and brings homemade bread. She's single and no family in the area. That is a result of, I mean, my kids are in their thirties, so this was fifth grade and that is a result of just saying, can we have Ms. Lampierre over for tea?

Tip #2: Keep it simple

And so if you don't cook, another thing is to start simple. Another thing is to use store-bought things. They're so much more delicious than they were when I was raising my kids. It's almost a defeating thing to make something from scratch. But I make things from scratch because they're less expensive. I make things from scratch that are easy because I enjoy baking but I have friends who don't touch it, like I have children who don't bake and it's like what happened Lord, does this skip generations?

So start simple. Invite one person. We had 41 for Christmas Eve but that's easy for me because I've been doing it for years. It's called practicing hospitality for a reason. You practice it, but you don't practice it to be perfect. It's not the mantra. It's not practice makes perfect. It's practice gives you ease. It makes you feel more at ease.

So again, It's self-serving. If you, the hostess, are at ease with opening your home, guess what you'll do? You will focus on the needs of your guests, not your own. Because that's the main difference between hospitality and entertaining. Entertaining is showing off who you are and what you can do. Hospitality is asking the question, Lord, how can I serve this guest because I don't know their real need? Only God knows. In fact, that person doesn't even recognize their real needs, especially if they're not a believer.

Tip #3: Do it with a friend

Another tip is to do it with a friend. I remember this woman raised her hand one time, because I like to do Q and A's [after speaking], and this woman raised her hand at the end. She goes, so I have four kids, so I shouldn't have anybody over till they go to college. I said, are you kidding? I said, no, no, no, no, you desperately need the fellowship of other moms.

And so you invite people over who were in the same boat. And I remember having a good friend over. And at the end we go, where's Larson? That was her boy. He had gone to my laundry room and he had emptied the entire huge tub of dry laundry detergent all over my floor. But she cleaned it up. It doesn’t matter because she needed to be away from her kid for those moments and at my table. So you do it with Christians and non-Christians.

Then I would do it with a friend, my friend Debbie is really good asking questions of people. She likes meeting new people. So when I have new people over, I make sure she's at my table and she's talking to them while I'm finishing up in the kitchen because you can get rattled if you’ve just spilled the coffee all over the floor right before they got there, which has happened. Or you forgot to put the flour in the food. I’ve done that. So, the more you make mistakes and realize it doesn't matter, the more you realize you're really focusing on the guest.

The advantages of failing

And you find out, I speak on this too, about the advantages of failing. I just said that to my daughter the other day on the phone. I go, it's okay that you didn't get that job because we learn more through failing. Everybody fails. You're not the only one. And I don't like failing, it hurts my pride. I'm embarrassed. I hope the person's not choking on the food that didn't turn out. I mean, but through the failures, you learn all sorts of things. But guess what? You won't fail if you don't try.

And then when you fail, realize, hey, I'm in good company. I mean, Jesus could be considered a big failure. I mean, He was killed, you know? And that's a big failure. I mean, I wouldn't want someone coming to my house and telling me to be crucified. But He did, He was rejected by his own town Nazareth. So if someone doesn't come that I've invited, which has happened, I’m in good company.

God invites people every day to His table and they go, ‘No thanks. I have enough money. I have a great relationship. I have good health and I don't believe there is a God.’ So they don't accept His invitation.

What would you say to someone who has that fear of rejection?

Well, I guess because it's happened to me and I didn't die. You kind of take things in stride more when you're older. And I just think, wow, they either don't like me, which is OK. Not everybody has to like me. I'm kind of a big personality. But I pray that I will be winsome. That was my word of the year years ago. So we all need to be winsome so that we don't turn people off to God.

So if people reject or don't come over when I invite them, it's not me that they're rejecting. They're rejecting the Lord. But I don't judge them and go, wow, they must be a terrible person. They're rejecting the Lord or rejecting me. I'm just not their cup of tea. And that's OK. I don’t take it personally, I guess. Because there are a hundred others who would die to be involved. That’s what Jesus said. He said, ‘Dust off your sandals and go to the next village. Because somebody there is waiting for my invitation.’

Other wise words worth echoing:

-“Look at each meetup, meeting a person, as an opportunity to draw someone to God. Because they are lost and they don't know it. Now, I don't need to save them, only God does the saving. But everybody needs to have a hospitality antenna...you need to meet every person with the idea of inviting them to God's table.”

-“The thing I'm learning is how much God wants to be with me, not just rule over me. So He is my companion. And that's what he also said in John 15: ‘I no longer call you servants, I call you friends.’”

-“You can trust God with your deepest longings.”

Listen to or watch the full conversation on Apple, Spotify or YouTube.

Thank you for being here,

Katharine

P.S. Eternal Echoes is free today. But if you’d like to partner with me in passing on faith and wisdom to future generations, I’d be so grateful if you consider supporting my work. I thank you truly, kindly and sincerely.

Eternal Echoes