Living a No Regrets Life: Breaking Free from the Lies that Hold You Back

"We all have those stories that Satan can say, 'God can't use you, look how awful you were.'"

Oct 08, 2025

Below is part of a conversation with Rhonda Stoppe, a bestselling author and speaker dedicated to helping women live lives free from regret. She is also a pastor’s wife and the host of the “Old Ladies Know Stuff” podcast.

Rhonda draws on the stories of Paul and Peter to show how our failures never disqualify us from being used by God. She also guides listeners through practical steps to break free from shame and regret, highlighting the importance of knowing God’s character and washing our minds with the Word of God.

If you prefer listening, you can listen to/watch the full conversation on Apple, Spotify or YouTube.

You call yourself the “no regrets” woman. What does this mean?

Well, my website is www.noregretswoman.com because I help you build a no regrets life. And I help you break free from regrets that hold you back. Not because I’ve never done anything that I regret — I have. But I have almost the whole book of Philippians memorized because it changed my life so much.

And I love when the apostle Paul says, “Forgetting what lies behind and straining to what lies ahead, I press on toward the mark of the prize of the upper calling of God in Christ Jesus.” He does not allow himself to get beat up by his past decisions or choices.

And let’s unpack what Paul could have beat himself up with. Well, if you know in scripture, the first martyr for the church was Stephen. Stephen, who had the face of an angel who preached a message and then they said, we were gonna kill you. And they took him out and they stoned him to death.

And Paul, who was then called Saul, is standing holding the cloaks of the people that are stoning to death this precious, godly young man. And he’s cheering them on.

Not to mention how many fathers he ripped from Christian families to be arrested and put to death for their faith. I mean, imagine the cries of the mom or the children, ‘Don’t take my daddy.’

Those could have haunted Paul. Those could have been things that Satan said you could never be someone God can use because look how awful you were.

We all have those stories that Satan can say, God can’t use you, look how awful you were. Look at that baby you aborted. Look at that immorality you were involved in at one time or another. Look at that resentment. Look at that fill in the blank. And he can keep us stuck there.

But God says, no, I take your sins as far as east is from the west. I washed them so far away. And why does God say east from west? Because I can travel east all day long and never meet west. If he said north from south, you’d be like, okay, well now I’m south, now I’m north. No, you can travel east and never meet west. He says they are gone.

But God doesn’t wipe them from our memory. Why? For humility, it keeps us humble, right? I know the immoral woman I would be without Christ. I would have been the woman at the well. That would have been my story. I was raised by women that that is their story for generations.

There is nothing in me that would not have become that same woman except Christ in me, the hope of glory.

And then there’s Peter…

I mean, look at Peter, he denied Christ. And Jesus even said, you’re going to deny me three times. And Peter’s like, no, no way. I am here for you. I’m going to cut that guy’s ear off. I will die with you.

And what does Jesus say to him? He says, ‘Satan wants to sift you like wheat.’ And I so badly wish that the next words out of Jesus’ mouth were, ‘But I’m not going to let him.’ He doesn’t say that. But He says, ‘But I have prayed for you.’ And then He gives him hope, saying ‘When you return.’

So He rose from the dead and He told the women, go tell the disciples I’m alive and tell Peter, you go find Peter, Peter’s not done. His failure did not discount him for ministry. In fact, now I can use him because now he’s not the prideful man who says, ‘I got this, God, I’ll do it and I’ll do it my way.’

Now he’s a broken man humbled by his failure. And now Jesus can trust him upon this rock — I can trust you’re not going to become a prideful leader of the New Testament church because you’ve been so humbled.

That’s the value of our failures and our sins – when we break free from our past hurts, nothing’s wasted. What Satan uses for evil, God uses for good.

How do we break free from shame and regret?

Well, first of all, the Word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than a two-edged sword, and it pierces right to the thoughts and intents of your heart. I will never see myself more clearly than through the lens of scripture.

And when I was a young wife — and I knew I wasn’t the wife I meant to be — I looked for marriages that I wanted to emulate. And I always say: old ladies know stuff.

Titus 2 calls the older women to teach the younger how to love their husbands, which means “Phileo” — to be a friend to him and love their children. And so that’s the journey woman teaching the apprentice.

So I went to some of these older women whose marriages I wanted to emulate and I became friends with them. And one woman asked me to come to a Bible study with her. And I said, ‘I’m so busy. I read the Bible, but I don’t have time to do a precept study, which is five hours of homework a week. You got the wrong person.’

And she just said, ‘Just see if it doesn’t change you.’ So it was the book of Philippians, which is why I have that book memorized, because it just so transformed me.

And the word of God begins to reveal to you the thoughts and intents of your heart and your motivations. And then when you are face-to-face with those, God wants you to do business with those.

And I love that He doesn’t bombard us with everything all at once. It’s one thing and then now we’re going to work on this thing. And then He comes back and says, ‘We still need to work on that thing.’

But, when you invite older women into your life, they’re not emotionally involved in what you’re going through, so they can see the situation without being emotionally offended or being clouded with that offense or regret.

So invite people in your life — older, seasoned women who are just a step ahead of you in their marriage, in their parenting, in their careers, in their singleness. If you’re not married, if you’re waiting for the Lord to bring somebody or maybe you’ve decided that’s not gonna happen, find someone who’s walked that road ahead of you and then ask them to speak truth into your life.

I learned from these women because they were real in a Bible study. Sometimes if you just say, hey, let’s go to coffee and be real with me. It’s like, okay, and I’ll be real with you.

But when you’re studying the word of God together, that’s what knits hearts and lives and generation; intergenerational influence comes from being in Bible studies together.

And Jesus said, ‘Abide in me, without me, you can do nothing.’ When we build on abiding in Him, it has to come from being washed with the water of the Word.

We will never be the woman of faith – the person God intends for us to be – if we skip over time in the Word, time in prayer, and then really run your race with others that want to follow Jesus like that.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

I would say the main thing is God has a plan and you can trust Him. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and run the race with others who will help you follow Him and keep your sights set on Him.

Our job is to love Him, to spend time with others who love Him. If you love God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength – and we’ll spend the rest of our lives trying to figure that out – you’ll have no regrets because as you love Christ, His love spills out of you.

The second commandment Jesus gave was love your neighbor as yourself. We try to love our neighbor as ourselves without loving Christ. And so then we’re pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and we can’t do it.

But the more we grow in our love for Him, the more His love spills over into our marriages, into our friendships, into our parenting, and you’ll have no regrets.

And you will build lifelong relationships with people that understand your love for them is not based on their performance, it’s based on the agape Christ love that’s in you, spilling out over you.

Listen to or watch the full conversation on Apple, Spotify or YouTube.

Thank you for being here,

Katharine

P.S. Eternal Echoes is free today. But if you’d like to partner with me in passing on faith and wisdom to future generations, I’d be so grateful if you consider supporting my work. I thank you truly, kindly and sincerely.

Eternal Echoes