Learning to Love Yourself

"We've got to love ourselves so we can stop worrying about ourselves and being so inward so He can be out."

Below is a snippet of a conversation with Kim Lewis, a 68-year-old woman of God. Kim offers words of wisdom on embracing God’s love, having a relationship with the Holy Spirit, knowing when it’s time to leave a church, and more. If you prefer listening, you can listen to the full conversation on Apple, Spotify, or watch on YouTube.

How did you come to know the Lord?

Way back when I was 14, living in a very small town in upstate New York, the pastor of our local Methodist church had heard about this Christian commune in Ithaca, New York called “Love Inn.” And it was started by Scott Ross, who was a very interesting person. He was in the music industry. He was like a producer and he was married to a singer, Nedra Ross, she was part of the Ronettes, which was an older singing group. He started his ministry doing the radio in this barn that was given to them, donated by a woman. And during his radio program, he would play pop music, or rock music, which was the music of those days, and relate the words to the songs to the scripture. And so he was using a method that was really unique, certainly for that time, because everybody listened to rock and roll. It was back in the 70s and late 60s. And then for him to use that as an avenue to preach was pretty amazing.

And so they contacted this gentleman, Scott Ross, and he sent some people from his commune, which was in this barn. They had built all these little, teeny dwelling places and all these single boys and girls lived there and worked the farm and had an incredible church there, which I was always amazed by. We used to worship and do church in the loft. And it was, like I said, back in this early 70s, late 60s, and the presence of God was just overwhelming. I mean, it was astounding. I just I’ve always loved the memory of that and the worship leader, Ted Sanquist, wrote all the music using scripture. And so it was like the best way to memorize scripture because you were singing it and it just stayed in your mind. It was so much better than reading and trying to commit it to memory because a song anybody can remember, and particularly if you love it.

Anyway, these guys came to our little town and the first night was a lock-in where they let the kids come and stay at the church. And so we spent the night with our sleeping bags on the floor in the Sunday school room. And then they had a ministry time that evening and a ministry time the next morning. That evening, after the ministry time, they talked to us about accepting Jesus as your savior and asking him into your heart. We were playing hide and go seek in the church afterwards before we had to go to bed. And I remember hiding in one of the Sunday school rooms upstairs and just thinking about what he had said in the dark as I'm hiding behind the door. And I just said, Jesus, if you're real, come into my heart. And that's how I got saved.

I mean, it was the most ridiculous setup I can imagine, but what really was amazing about it was the next day when they were ministering to the kids, there was a girl that was there who had been crippled since birth. Her leg was malformed and she walked with a limp that just threw her to the side. And they laid hands on her and prayed for her and she was completely healed. I mean, that leg straightened out and became 100% whole.

I mean, it was absolutely amazing and the room was packed with all of these kids from not just our church but other surrounding churches that came and shared in that time and whoa, I mean everybody was crying and just absolutely astounded and me and my friends that I had there, we were all overwhelmed with the power of the Holy Spirit and just set on fire by that and for the next probably, I don't know how long it went on, probably a year, we met together.

All the local churches opened their doors to us so we could use their buildings, the Catholic Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Episcopal Church, and so we were able to use their places and we just kind of led the group without a leader. We all just kind of talked about what God was saying to us and what we'd read in the scripture and we were totally on fire and people had heard about us in the surrounding community, like Watertown I remember that's the next town up the road from us. There was, I think it was a Christian scientist or it was some different kind of faith, that they invited us to come and share our faith.

And so we were sitting there talking about how cool Jesus was and blah, blah, blah. And honestly, we were all smoking cigarettes because that's what we did. We were the hippies, you know. I can’t even what it looked like thinking back on it. I remember living it and not thinking twice about it.

But one of the women in the group that was listening to us, they were all just sitting there kind of with this ‘what the heck’ look on their faces. And I remember her looking at me and saying specifically, she said, ‘Well, I used to feel like you do now,’ she goes, ‘but when I got older, I can tell you, you're going to get old and cold like I am.’ Those were her exact words to me.

I guess she just felt that enthusiasm and joy in God is something that wanes. Just like your childhood, your first love, you’re just head over heels with whoever this guy is, the very first person you ever fall in love with. If your relationship isn't real, it does fade with time.

Maybe that was what her experience was. I just, I know that I love my husband more now than I did when I first met him. And it's a different love. It's a deeper love, but it's a better love, really.

What have you learned about God that you wish you’d known when you were younger?

I think that one of the most important things that I've ever learned is how important it is to understand how much God loves you. Because we are so easily down on ourselves. They always say that if you sin, ask forgiveness, repent, and pick yourself up and get on with it. Because God doesn't stop loving you. He doesn't not forgive you.

And it's something I struggled with my entire life. I think, a lot of times, I didn't feel worthy. I didn't feel, I don't know, I always felt inadequate. And you know what? As Paul says, when we are weak, then He is strong. And to embrace your inadequacies, not to live with sin or not to live with failure. But to look beyond your failures and embrace the fact that you've invited the living God into your heart, and He will make out of you what He wants. All you have to do is cooperate. And if we don't understand that, if we don't continually turn and feel His acceptance and feel His love, we don't get over ourselves, too. You’ve just got to shake that off.

And I think I shared with you this dream that I had about walking and feeling really happy and joyful and holding somebody's hand and looking over and I look at myself, it was me holding my own hand. And in the dream, I wasn't as shocked as I would be in real life. I just looked at myself and I said, ‘I love you.’ And the other me looked at me and said, ‘I love you too.’ And it was so corny and so funny. I woke myself up laughing out loud.

But the thing that God was trying to say is like, we've got to love ourselves so we can stop worrying about ourselves and being so inward so He can be out. So we're not worried about this thing, we're just worried about everybody else experiencing the joy and the love and the forgiveness of God that we do.

What words of wisdom would you offer the younger generation on their walk with God and as they journey through life?

I think how important it is to establish a relationship with the Holy Spirit so you can hear Him, know His voice and press in and know that ultimately every decision, everything that goes on in your life, you're the one who's responsible, not your mom, not your pastor, not your dad, not anybody, it's you and it's your choice to do the right thing and to do what's right for you. And listen to that inner voice because just because Jane, your best friend, doesn't do this, doesn't mean that you're not able to walk in that. There's so many times I think good people who are well-intentioned will try to put parameters on you during your lifetime that aren't God. They might be God for them, but not for you.

And to just press into God so that you can trust Him in your own heart and stand strong in that. ‘Know me,’ He says ‘and make me known.’ And be confident in His love for you that what He’s saying to you and what you're feeling in your heart is the right thing. I mean certainly have good advisors, have people who look out for you, but you know the Word is there.

The Bible has so much truth and it's living and active. And when you're searching for answers, some of the best places to go are the Word and prayer. You know, and say ‘God speak to me.’ Speak to me in dreams. Speak to me in your words. Speak to me through just conversations with people who aren't even expecting to be saying something to me from God. Because God does. He speaks to us through the television. They're just the most random things sometimes, a sign driving down the road. It's like, my gosh! You know, it's so fascinating how the Holy Spirit works. And it just makes your life so much better when you trust it and lean into it.

And have confidence in yourself even though you might be young. You know God and you're feeling Him saying something to you, stand up for that. Stand up for that voice in you. I'm not saying be rebellious, but understand that nobody can hear for you from God like you can hear from God. I'll tell you that that'll save you in many occasions. Just obey it.

God is a lover of individuality and He won't say the same thing to you that He'll say to somebody else. I mean, He always speaks the truth. He knows the truth you need to hear, too. You know what I mean? Everybody is so incredibly unique. And I think that one of the best ways to show that is how they used to treat cancer like it was a disease and everybody gets the same treatment, but they found out that cancers are incredibly diverse and people have all different types, and different medications work for different people. And it's so much more complicated than we thought. And God is a complicated God, but He's also incredibly good, incredibly creative. And man, if this doesn't work for you, let's find something else, God says, let's go over there, you know? And have confidence in the giftings that He's given you, too.

Where does the “good way” lie? (Jeremiah 6:16)

Just persistence and not giving up. Embrace what comes your way and accept that God has given you the ability to make good out of every bad thing that comes into your life and make better the good things that come into your life.

Favorite scripture:

“Thanks be unto God who always causes us to triumph in Christ and make it manifest the sweet savor of his knowledge by us in every place.” 2 Corinthians 2:14

Other Wise Words Worth Echoing:

-“More than anything God wants to perfect us. He wants to bring us into freedom and joy and wholeness in the Holy Spirit.”

-“I was just so hopeful that life would be easy and joyful and perfect. But it's not. What is easy and joyful and perfect is knowing the Lord Jesus Christ and knowing no matter what happens, He's going to bring you through it. And He's going to bring you through victorious. All you have to do is say yes.”

-“More than anything that I have learned over my lifetime is just if it's [a church] not about God, it's not about God, it's not worth even spending another minute there. If the focus is not entirely on God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, leave. Don't ever leave church for good, but find a place where you know it's Him that's in the forefront.”

-“You're good at just about everything because you've got the Holy Spirit living inside you.”

-“Recognizing your enemy is the way to defeat him.”

Listen to the full conversation on Apple, Spotify, or watch on YouTube.

Thank you for being here,

Katharine

🤝 Subscribe and Support ❤️ Like ✍️ Comment 🔁 Restack 📣 Share

P.s. If you have the financial means to support this ministry, I’d be so grateful, as it will allow me to continue these conversations to pass on wisdom and faith to future generations. I thank you truly, kindly and sincerely.

Follow Eternal Echoes:

Facebook and Instagram: @EternalEchoesMinistry

Website: www.eternalechoesministry.com