Finding Purpose and Contentment in Singleness

“You don't need to be married for your life to matter or your voice to matter.”

Feb 19, 2025

Below is a snippet of a conversation with Laurel Roth, a 69-year-old woman of God who has over 35 years experience in children’s ministry and has been doing missions trips to Africa since 2010. Laurel shares profound insight on finding purpose and contentment in singleness, and offers an abundance of wisdom to encourage you in your walk with God, regardless of the season you’re in. You can listen to or watch the full conversation on Apple, Spotify or YouTube.

What words of wisdom do you have for other single folk?

The great secret is to find contentment in your life and find purpose. I think one of the things that I learned early on, by the grace of God He taught me, was I don't need a husband to be significant or have purpose or to matter and that you don't need to be married for your life to matter or your voice to matter.

Of course, that even then is still kind of a lifelong learning curve for me, but you don't need a husband…that you are called, that you are gifted, and that God has a plan for your life and to just keep that heart of Lordship. And also to find what you're lacking, you know, it drove me into Him. It drove me into my relationship with Jesus. It drove me into the depths of finding what I was lacking, especially as women with emotional needs, you know, it drove me into Him.

And one of the things I observe, especially as a younger single woman, is so many single people my age, because of the needs we have, very real, they would try to fulfill those needs. They would plan their lives around fulfilling those needs. So they'd work their jobs and then fill their evenings and their weekends with activity.

Where I remember, of course, I knew I was hungry for ministry from a young age, but I remember sitting in a service way back in the early 80s, and a guest minister coming to our church and talking about it, saying ‘If you're called to ministry while the rest of your friends are out on a Friday night eating pizza, you're going to have to spend some Friday nights staying at home praying and seeking the Lord.’ That really spoke to me.

And so, and especially not having a lot of friends my early years, I recognized my need for fellowship, but I was very intentional about seeking the Lord and finding what I needed in Him. And God graced me with great married friends. My best friends were married for the most part, and so I always had family. They invited me into their family.

But it's just to find your contentment, and realize who you serve and who you belong to and His plan. And you don't want any other plan than His. And it's better to be happy single than to be miserable married. Because if you try to get married and that's not what God has for you, you can do it, but it won't be the best.

“If every woman in the world gets married, but you're single, you follow me”

And I remember one time when my last really good single friend got married. And I'm driving through town after, and I'm in her wedding, I can't tell you how many bridesmaids I've been, and so I was driving around town afterward. And I'm thinking I'm the last single person in the world kind of feeling, you know.

And I remember, I was driving around town and the Holy Spirit just visited me because He will when you're honest before the Lord, He’ll meet you and give you everything you need right where you're at. And so I remember Him speaking to me. He reminded me about when Jesus, after He was crucified and He came back, and John and Peter were on the beach and He prophesies to Peter about what kind of life you're going to live, you know, that when you were young, you went where you wanted, did what you want, but when you're older you're going to have to do what you don't want...

But then they're walking down the beach and John's coming behind them. Peter looks back and sees John following and says to Jesus, what about John? And Jesus says to Peter, hey, if John lives till he sees me come back to him again, what is that to you? You follow me. And I knew the Lord was saying, and He’s very gentle, full of love, full of grace, empowerment, He said, if every woman in the world gets married, but you're single, you follow me.

And that just did something inside of me. That just kind of nailed something inside of me. It was beautiful. It was empowering. It was comforting. It was, alright, yes, let's go God, type of moment.

Laying Down a Desire for Children

When I first moved to Dublin, Georgia in 1981, I was single and I was from California and the church was just starting, so there were very few friends or fellowship and I used to go down, we just had a storefront church and I'd go down there and pray a lot in the evenings.

And I was down there praying one evening and the Holy Spirit, I didn't know it was the Holy Spirit, didn't know it was the Lord, but I heard Him at the moment, I heard Him say to me, you know, I'm 24, 25 years old, I heard Him say, if I would lay down my own natural desires for children, He would give me multitudes. Well, I didn't know that was the Lord, but I heard it so clear and I knew enough from my Catholicism, I appreciate my Catholicism and my other foundations I'd gotten as a young believer, that Jesus is Lord and Lord means He's the boss and whatever He says our answer is yes. And that's been a key element for me, for my life. And so my response to Him was Lord, I don't know if this is you or not, but if this is you, you are Lord and yes I'll do anything you ask me to. And then I didn't ever plan to get married or plan not to, I just lived life and was full of purpose.

One of the first scriptures that jumped out at me as a young believer was 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul says when you're single, you're devoted to the Lord. And so I really made that very personal. I made my devotion and my attention, and the amplified version in particular, the way it's worded. And so I was always full of purpose, and I was happy. Of course, you have your moments when you'd like that, but it was never tormenting for me because I found my purpose and I would run to Jesus with all that.

And the thing is, years later when I had moved to what's now my hometown in Valdosta, Georgia, it was probably 2018, 2019, and I haven't told this to many people. A friend of mine, I was at a worship service at that church, and a good friend of mine walks up to me during worship and says, I don't know if this is gonna make sense to you or not, but I feel like the Lord wants me to say to you that He’s promised you multitudes of children and you're not done yet. And I was like 65 years old, and He’s telling me I'm still not done.

And even this last trip I just took to Africa this past September was probably one of my most fruitful trips I've ever had where there's more pastors now, hundreds of pastors that we were able to speak to about God's heart for generations, now asking for help to build children's ministries and I’m planning to go back, possibly in the spring, but sometime next year to do a conference just for children's workers because Africa doesn't have the revelation for children's ministry as a whole. The number of pastors that have said to me in Africa, ‘we've never even heard of such a thing.’ But when they hear of it, they're hungry for it. So God's timetable is not our own.

What have you learned about God that you wish you’d known when you were younger?

I think one of the big ones was, for many reasons, because of being single, but to have learned a long time ago to embrace myself. Because even in my upbringing when I was in high school, this high school was small, I was never cool enough to be in the popular group, but neither did I fit in with the unpopular, always in that in-between.

And then as I went into ministry and my friends were the pastors and the pastor's wives and traveling around teaching around the world. And I never was sitting at those tables of leadership, but because of the positions I held in the ministry, I knew what was going on at the tables and I was helping implement them. So I was never part of that circle, but neither was I just a church member. So I was always in that in-between and I remember feeling the awkwardness of that at times. But in that, I devalued my own voice a lot and who I was, but through the years, realizing and embracing myself and realizing He created me just the way I am and His unbelievable, amazing, deep, wide depth of His love for me.

That and His faithfulness, because one of the things, being single and working for smaller ministries and not having a husband, was the provision has always been a walk of faith for me. But I've never been without. Taking steps of faith, moving several times for different reasons, traveling overseas, I've been young and now I’m old, and I've never seen the righteous forsaken…and His amazing provision, always. His faithfulness is amazing. So, ‘feed on His faithfulness’ the scriptures say.

Seashells as an Illustration of God’s Love

And, one of the things, and I teach the kids this, but it's a learning curve to me. I was in Cape Town one time, South Africa, and we were walking on the beach with some friends, and it was covered with seashells. And my friends were amazed, because they went down there all the time and never saw so many seashells. They were so beautiful.

So I was walking along, and of course, you pick up one, and it's just beautiful. It's amazing. It's like, this is the most beautiful seashell I've ever seen, I've got to have it, so I put it in my pocket. You take another step, there's another one. It's like, no, this is the most beautiful one I've ever had, I've got to have it. This is literally the truth because they're so similar but so different and unique.

And I felt like the Holy Spirit was speaking to me because by the time that walk was over, my pockets were full of shells, my pocket book was full of shells, their pockets were full of shells, I literally had probably 200 shells that I took back to my room and cleaned off in the shower. I brought them home because the Lord was speaking to me and I use this lesson often with kids that that's how God sees us. There's so many similarities. We all have, even physical features. We have a nose and two eyes and a mouth, all of us, but with just a handful of features, how different we all look.

The same inside of us, you know, how different and unique each one of us are. But each one of us, God would look at us like I was looking at the seashells, and say this is my favorite one. I've got to have that one. And that's how He sees all of us. And that was a learning curve for me. And I teach it to the kids all the time. Now it's one of my messages about His love for them and uniqueness and they're special and God's called them to special things for kingdom purposes.

Other wise words worth echoing:

-“We're never stuck when we have God. We are never stuck…and as long as you have breath, there's purpose. And God's got the next thing for us. Our steps are ordained from the Lord from beginning to end. All our days are written in His book. He already knows the days of our life and He’s made provision for every disappointment, every mistake, every time we do disobey, every time we do make a mistake, every time we do fail, He’s a redeemer.”

-“We never can fail too bad or sin too bad or fall too far that we're outside the depth of His redemption. Our definition of success isn't His definition of success. There is no blueprint for life. Just like there's no blueprint for who we are, there's no blueprint for life. We have a very Western culture mindset of what life is supposed to look like. But that's not a kingdom minded culture. It's not a bad one. It's wonderful. But He’s got a kingdom mindset. If you look in scriptures, there's not many normal lives in scripture, you know? And so there's always purpose. There's always a tomorrow. There's always a reason. And just wait on Him.”

-“Our life is a journey and that it's a journey of seasons. Life is just one season after another. And to remember that whatever season you're in, it's not forever. There'll be another season. Suck the life out of the season you're in. Find the joy. There's always gold in every season we're in. Always gold. There's always purpose. No matter how hard or whatever the struggle might be at the moment, there's gold in it. He doesn't waste a moment of our time. So find the gold and know that it's just a season. And there's another season coming.”

-”You walk into all God has for you and who you are just through daily obedience. Even when God speaks to you, you can't run out and make it happen. It's daily obedience and He’ll lead you into all that He has because what He has for us is much more than what we could imagine for ourselves.”

-“Stay content, learn contentment, but always stay hungry. Don't ever be satisfied where you are in God. Don't park, don't put up a tent like Peter. Peter wanted to do that on the mount. Don't put up a tent. Be content, but be hungry.”

-”In all the years of being saved, I learned the foundational principles over and over again. Everything goes to deeper levels. But you just walk in the foundations. It’s like, I like football, you know, and all the coaches will say if you're going to win a football game, you stick to the fundamentals. Same thing with your walk with Jesus, ‘the just shall live by faith.’ You live by it, you breathe by faith. And so always going back to the fundamentals of we live by faith and trust in God.”

Listen to the full conversation on Apple, Spotify or YouTube.

Thank you for being here,

Katharine

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